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John McCain’s Secret Weapon. August 29, 2008

Posted by littlebangtheory in Politics and Society.
Tags: ,

Today, Presidential Hopeful John McCain unleashed on the unsuspecting masses of American voters his Secret Weapon:

his vagina.

The disclosure of his choice of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his VP running mate smacks of little more than pandering to those disaffected Hillary supporters who believe that the Numero Uno qualification for becoming the next President of the United States is being a woman.

Now, don’t get me wrong – we seriously need to get beyond the Boys Only mentality which has poisoned the American political process for lo these, oh, two hundred and thirty-odd years.

But Palin??

John, you doddering old hormone, what could you have been thinking? This girl was just learning to wear Big Girl Pants about the time you started farting dust into your Depends. And if you thought you looked old yesterday, wait ’till the Country sees you next to Herself over the course of the next two months.

And since you are sorta old and in, um, sub-optimal health, shouldn’t we all seriously consider what it would mean for our collective futures to have President Gidget handling the next global crisis to come down the pike?

Really, John, I know she shoots a mean hoop, but you just traded your “Obama’s too inexperienced” card for a handful of schwing voters who were probably already in your camp.

Personally, the last thing I look for in a VP is Teh Cutez.

But hey, what do I know.

Actually, I know this: a McCain/Palin ticket raises the specter of having another oil man woman in the Executive Branch of our government, one who would doubtless lobby hard for the opening of ANWAR to drilling, such deals being to the economic benefit of the dozens of people who live in Alaska.

Overall, my general take on the subject is that McCain’s choice of Governor Palin as a running mate will only garner votes from shallow fools who think with their Little Heads or don’t give a Rat’s Ass about the facts as they relate to their own and their children’s futures; it’s all about appearances and the smoke-and-mirrors of the modern political Carnival of Bullshit. And what American would fall for that?

Damn – I think I just scared myself.


1. sherry - August 29, 2008

it angers and scares the hell out of me.

2. FranIAm - August 29, 2008

What Sherry said. I just read a blog post that posited the thought… the former mayor of Wasilla, Alaska would be the effing president if McCain were to die in office.


3. DCup - August 29, 2008

Did you see Shake’s post on this pick and the timing of the announcement? Brilliant.


4. Tengrain - August 29, 2008

FranIam, what do you mean, if?



5. Bob - August 29, 2008

fools who think with their Little Heads

In fairness though, for those dudes? More cognitive power in the Little Head than the big one.

I’m glad I have a passport.

6. kkryno - August 30, 2008

I need to GET my passport (after refusing to get my AK. drivers’ license, lest I be confused for one of them!) I defintely don’t agree with her policy 85% of the time, but we should all be aware that Palin is tenatious, like a bulldog. She also knocked Frank Murkowski off of his perverbial toadstool. I have to say, I was glad for that. I won’t give my vote to Mc Lame just because she’s feisty. Her stand for pro-life, her support of aerial wolf hunting, and her push to not classify polar bears as endangered is enough for me to vote for the other guy, hands down. The point I also wanted to make is, Palin should not be underestimated. I’ve seen her surprise people before.
We have to be ready to work hard to make sure she doesn’t help Ol’ Grumpy Pants win this thang! That’s my two-cents, for what it’s worth.

7. susan - August 30, 2008

Talk about a slap in the face. I’m disgusted.

8. Frau Biergut - August 30, 2008

“And what American would fall for that?”

9. Frau Biergut - August 30, 2008

Oooooops I hit return too early.

“And what American would fall for that?”
I paraphrase Mencken….Nobody was ever elected by underestimating the gullibility of the American electorate.

You should be scared.


10. Randal Graves - August 30, 2008

Brilliant move by McFossil. The media loves pretty people, and it defuses Biden’s greatest strength as VP, being a loudmouthed ass, because he’ll get shellacked by the talking hairpieces if that’s how he acts in the debate.

11. littlebangtheory - August 30, 2008

Ah, but Randall, the question must arise, because McFossil and Obama both carry a significant risk of not surviving their appointment: which VP is most qualified to Do The Deed if they should be called to ascend into The Office.

And Biden, despite his flaws, wins that contest hands down.

…Though I’ll give you that most Americans will take a comely babe over an experienced Old White Guy any day.

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