A Man, A Plan, A Canal…

…So there was this rock I wanted to climb, but it was really, really wet at its base, with a little bit of standing water and a LOT of mud.

Plus it had a big old rotted log across its front, apparently the iron-hard heartwood of a very large fallen maple tree.

So I brought my chain saw out there last week, cut the log into five large pieces (about three hundred pounds each) and chucked it / rolled it away from the boulder. Then I cleaned out under the boulder, dug a small drainage ditch, lined it with rocks and went looking for larger stones to roof over my little canal.

I found a perfect slab of gneiss, two inches thick by four feet long and twenty inches wide. I wished it was a foot or two longer, but hey, it was a good start, and after half an hour of lugging the thing through the woods to my work-site, I was pleased that it fit so nicely!

Another half-hour search produced another flat rock, not as nice as the first, but it was getting late, so I grabbed it and hucked it into place, and my canal was finished.

Then I went up on top of the boulders to admire my handy-work, and…Holy Cow!

It’s a miracle! A Giant Penis sighting in the woods of Monroe! Quick, take a picture, the guys down at the bar will never believe this!

So I took a picture and I’ll let YOU decide: Is that a friggin’ miracle, or what????